Preparing for the holiday season is not always a smooth sleigh ride, what with present shopping, partying, taking the kids to see Santa and trying to keep up with their ever-changing demands for toys. These situations are classic causes of 'Emotional Sweat' when we respond to emotional pressure. See if you identify with the following stress triggers and try our suggested solutions.

Present Shopping: Long queues and crowds rushing around town wear me out and I just want to get out of there as quickly as possible - before I've bought half of what I need.

Solution: Take a day off work or organise a minder to take care of the kids and go shopping on a weekday when most people are at work. Do it early in the season so you can avoid the panic as Christmas gets closer.

I always spend a fortune on gifts and get hit with massive bills in January.


Solution: Like Santa, make a list of people you need to buy for, allocate an amount to each one - and stick to it.

My kids see so many toys advertised on TV they want everything - and keep changing their minds about their main present. I don't want them to be disappointed!

Solution: Talk with the children early in the season and explain that they need to have realistic expectations about what Santa can bring.

My sister bought my kids expensive gifts last year, while we had got them modest presents. I was mortified!

Solution: Call your family members and agree a limit on the amount you spend. This makes life easier for everybody and avoids embarrassment all round. Or suggest a Kris Kindle, where each family member anonymously picks a name from a hat and that's who they buy for.

Socialising: I love Christmas parties but between looking for something to wear, finding babysitters (many of whom are partying themselves!) and trying to look glamorous, I am worried that it will all be too much.

Solution: Be good to yourself. Choose the parties you want to attend and send your apologies for the others. Ask friends, family and neighbours if they can help with babysitting. Regarding your party wardrobe, have a few evening separates that you can mix and match to create different looks.

Last year it took hours to get a taxi home from Christmas parties. It put a damper on the evenings and I am not thrilled at the thought of facing that again.

Solution: According to the Taxi Drivers Federation, since the deregulation of the taxi industry there has been a massive increase in taxis available for hire and by Christmas this year there will be 10,000 taxis on the road in Dublin alone, so you shouldn't have the same problem you experienced last year. Alternatively, you could take turns with friends as designated drivers.

I love going to parties but there don't seem to be that many happening this year.

Solution: Throw your own party! Invite friends, colleagues, neighbours, family, and especially other people that you know may not be invited to many parties. The likelihood is that you¿ll get return invitations.

Family:It's my turn to have the extended family for dinner this year and I just don't know how I'll cope! I'm used to cooking for four, but now I've got to feed and entertain 16, including two teenagers and four children under the age of six.

Solution: Don't hesitate to ask family members to bring food. Most people are delighted to help out. For instance, one could bring a starter, another Christmas pudding and somebody else could bring an alternative dessert. That leaves you with just the main course. Prepare as much as possible in advance and let the children help with decorations and laying the table.

As a single parent I make a big effort to make Christmas special for my children, but I would love to have more adult company.

Solution: Don't isolate yourself. Join a club for single parents who will share similar feelings and be able to offer first-hand advice. Call on friends who have no children. They love to help assemble toys, put up the tree and do all those things they never get a chance to do because they don't have kids. Don't put extra stress on yourself trying to compensate for your children not having dad around. You sound like a wonderful mother who loves her children dearly and they know that. Gives yourself treats such as a glass of wine and a good book, make a long phone call to a dear friend, and visit our chatroom whenever you want to talk to other mums.

My brother loves to be the life and soul of the party at our Christmas morning gathering, but he can get out of hand when he's had one too many. What will I do?

Solution: Why not leave the alcohol until the evening and organise a dry Christmas morning get-together? Gourmet coffee, iced tea, fruit smoothies, herbal teas and non-alcoholic cocktails, beer, wine and punch are all great alternatives to alcohol.

I used to love Christmas as a child, but as an adult I find there is so much to do that it can all get on top of me. How can I recapture that childhood magic?

Solution: When you were small, you weren't responsible for organising the magic of Christmas. Now your expectations are so high, the least little setback is blown out of proportion. Mishaps will occur and it's not the end of the world.